Five Permissions for a Life with Fewer Regrets
”Living true to yourself” may be less about finding the right answer and more about reclaiming the sense in your heart.
What supports that process are small permissions you give yourself—not to prove anything to others, but to make it easier to breathe.
Don’t put age limits on what you want to do
Using age as a reason makes giving up sound convincing, so it becomes an easy brake on the heart. But age is not only proof that it’s too late; it’s also the depth of experience.
There are things you can do because you’re young, and there are strengths you only notice with more years behind you. The moment you think, “Isn’t it too late now?” try asking yourself once more, “Do I still like this?” Just that can bring some choices back into your life.
It’s okay to cause others some inconvenience
Aiming to live without ever bothering anyone can make movement impossible. Don’t fail, don’t be disliked, don’t put any burden on others—those intentions can be kind, but they can also become chains.
As long as you’re alive, no matter how careful you are, moments will come when you inconvenience someone. What matters isn’t reducing inconvenience to zero but meeting it with care: apologize, explain, support one another. That cycle contains humane relationships.
You may decide your own way of life
Living by someone else’s words can look easy at first, but it can leave a lingering heaviness—because the responsibility for the outcome still falls on you.
If there’s a chance of failure, at least fall on a path you chose yourself. That thought gives the heart a spine. Choosing how to live isn’t selfishness; it’s taking responsibility for your life.
It’s okay to spend money on yourself
Many people carry guilt about spending money on themselves. Yet money is fundamentally a tool to enrich life’s experiences.
Rather than using money only to meet others’ expectations, use it for what deeply delights you, quietly restores you, or broadens your view. That kind of spending is closer to investment than waste.
It doesn’t have to be a large amount. Spending that leaves you feeling calmer or that you treated yourself well can help reduce regret.
You don’t have to be a perfect “good person”
“Don’t lie,” “always be kind,” “never get angry,” “don’t gossip”—the more ideals you set, the more prohibitions pile up and the harder it becomes inside.
Aiming to be a good person isn’t bad. But trying to be “good” all the time can trap your true feelings with nowhere to go.
What matters more than a flawless character is forgiving yourself and making small adjustments over time. Accepting your weaknesses and immaturity creates the room to be genuinely kinder to others.
Afterword
These five permissions are not words to push yourself harder, but words to help you breathe again.
Living true to yourself is not about dramatic change but about gradually choosing the “less painful” or the “more fitting” option, and allowing yourself to choose again. Which of these five permissions feels most needed right now?