8 Things Happier People Allow Themselves

It's not that one side is wrong.
Just being able to think that can make the heart feel surprisingly lighter.

Happier people might allow themselves an almost endless list of things. If anything, there are fewer things they won't permit. Thinking that way makes me wonder whether happiness is less a talent and more a difference in how one treats oneself.

When I was a child I was raised between two opposite messages. My father said "be strong," my mother said "be kind." One moment I was told not to cry; the next I was told to show anger. I was told to fight, then told not to.
So early on I decided "I'll decide for myself," but still, words and feelings that stuck like splinters remained in the depths of my heart and sometimes stalled things in certain situations.

What hurts most is when a single thing faces not one but two rejections.
Strong but not kind is no good. Kind but weak is no good.
If both A and B are judged unacceptable, no matter where you stand you feel bad. You get stuck in a loop.

But at some point, the moment I could think, "Maybe A and B can both be okay," I gradually began to breathe easier. It wasn't simple, but permissions, I realized, create passages for the heart.

You don't have to do them all at once. Even one small "I can allow this" is meaningful.

1 Weak or strong — both are fine
It's okay to show weakness, and it's okay to stand firm. Both are part of being human.

2 Cry or laugh — both are fine
Crying isn't breaking; it's unraveling. Laughing doesn't have to be forced cheerfulness.

3 Rest or push yourself — both are fine
Rest isn't running away; it's recovery. Working hard isn't a moral failing; it's an act of will. Either is fine today.

4 Be odd or be earnest — both are fine
It's okay to be different from others, and it's okay not to stand out. Prioritize your natural self.

5 Rely on others or put on a brave face — both are fine
Some days you want to lean on someone; other days you prefer to hold your ground. Both are ways of protecting yourself.

6 Don't fit in or fit in — both are fine
Choosing not to go along is OK. Choosing to go along is OK. What matters is feeling comfortable with the choice.

7 Part ways or stay together — both are fine
Keeping distance and staying close can both be expressions of love and sincerity.

8 Have big dreams or have none — both are fine
You can be happy without goals, and some people shine because they have dreams. Both are valid.

Choosing isn't the same as denying.
It's okay to act tough one day and seek comfort another day. It's okay to be earnest or a little messy. Without deciding which is "right," follow the one your heart finds easier today.

For me, the pressure to "have to be kind" mattered more than whether I was strong or weak. Realizing that it was fine to be kind and also fine to show a less kind side lifted a weight from my heart.

Little by little, think in ways that make life easier and give yourself more permissions. That alone lets you live much more freely than before.