Sex after years together: how to keep pleasure alive

Research links regular pleasurable sex with several health and relationship benefits, and large studies report that couples who have sex about once a week tend to report higher relationship satisfaction; the article describes approaches such as scheduling sex, intimacy dates, mutual question-asking, addressing household imbalances and small novelties as ways long-term partners have improved their sexual lives.

A university sex-education teacher writes that her own relationship improved after she studied sexual wellbeing and began teaching. The article brings together decades of research that link sexual pleasure and regular intimacy to physical and emotional benefits. It notes that sexual satisfaction often tracks with overall relationship health and can decline when everyday pressures and unequal household labour build up. The piece presents several practical approaches discussed in research and teaching. Key findings: - Research links sexual activity and pleasure to physical benefits such as pain relief, immune support and lower risks of some illnesses and cognitive decline, and to emotional benefits including stronger relationships. - A 1997 study cited in the article reported that men with low orgasm frequency had higher mortality over a ten-year period compared with men who orgasmed more often. - Large studies have found couples who have sex about once a week report higher relationship satisfaction and wellbeing, while more frequent sex did not show clear additional emotional benefits. - The article describes relationship practices backed by research or expert discussion: scheduling time for intimacy, mutual question-asking to increase disclosure, ‘intimacy dates’ of undistracted time together, addressing resentments such as unequal household labour, and introducing small changes or ‘micro-novelties’. - Evidence cited includes meta-analyses and longitudinal studies linking sexual problems with relationship breakdown and studies on household labour and sexual frequency. Summary: The article summarises research showing pleasurable, regular sex is associated with both health and relationship benefits and reports that modest, repeatable patterns (about once weekly) often correlate with higher satisfaction. It presents several research-informed approaches that couples and educators discuss as ways to rebuild connection. Undetermined at this time.