How to Spark Up Your Sex Drive.

Experts say improving libido often starts with basic steps like sleep, stress management and addressing medical or relationship issues, and they describe techniques—such as identifying specific 'turnoffs,' creating a calendared container for physical intimacy, introducing novelty, and reducing pressure—that aim to change the conditions around desire.

Many people find their sex drive shifts over time and look for ways to rekindle desire. The article reports that the most evidence-based starting points are basic health and relationship checks: enough sleep, lower stress and medical or relational assessment. Experts emphasize that libido is rarely fixed by a single intervention and that it's often more useful to create conditions that support desire. Several sex therapists and educators described practical approaches that focus on context and connection rather than quick fixes. Strategies discussed: - A 'turnoff' audit: David F. Khalili said noting specific things that lower arousal — from feeling criticized to rushed foreplay or predictable routines — can clarify what to address. - Scheduling a container for intimacy: Rachel Wright recommended planning time for nonsexual touch, such as cuddling or massages, so responsive desire can emerge without pressure. - Adopting a compassionate perspective: Lori Davis noted that quieting negative judgments about a partner and naming appreciations can change how desire is experienced. - Introducing novelty in who, when and how: Justin Garcia and other experts explained that small changes, like switching who initiates or exploring different times of day, can reintroduce excitement. - Learning something new together: Kate Balestrieri and others said shared, tactile activities can bring novelty, collaboration and safe vulnerability that relate to intimacy. - Reducing performance pressure: Several clinicians observed that trying to force desire often backfires and described embodiment approaches and, in some cases, brief agreed pauses from sex to focus on other forms of closeness. Summary: The article frames libido as influenced by many intertwined factors and shifts the focus from finding a single cure to shaping everyday conditions that support desire. Experts described a range of approaches people have used, including auditing turnoffs, creating a scheduled container for touch, adding novelty, and exploring shared activities or therapy. What happens next varies by individual and relationship, and is undetermined at this time.