Avoiding estrangement with a loved one, according to an expert.

A psychologist notes that about 10% of people are estranged from a parent or child and that estrangements are often initiated by adult children; he says repair commonly involves listening, acknowledging harm and showing a willingness to change.

Many people worry about becoming estranged from a parent or adult child, and research cited in the article estimates about 10% of people are estranged at any given time. Experts report that rising mental-health challenges, political polarization and cultural shifts toward individualism are contributing factors. Joshua Coleman, a psychologist and senior fellow who has written on estrangement and repaired a rift with his own daughter, spoke about why estrangements happen and how some can be addressed. His comments describe both when estrangement may be necessary and how relationships are sometimes repaired. Key points: - Estrangements are most often initiated by adult children; for parents there is generally no upside unless there has been abuse or severe mental illness, the article reports. - Reported causes include political differences, increased therapy and focus on childhood experiences, greater individualism, and rising rates of mental illness affecting family dynamics. - Estrangements can ripple across families, affecting grandchildren, siblings and wider kin networks. - Coleman describes repair-focused approaches reported in the interview: listening without defending, acknowledging hurt, naming specific behaviors to change rather than labeling, and offering concrete steps such as individual or family therapy. Summary: Coleman says some estrangements are necessary after clear abuse or neglect, but many ruptures stem from broader social and interpersonal changes and may be addressed through respectful, nondefensive communication and demonstrated willingness to change. Outcomes depend on the willingness of those involved and, in some cases, professional support or further conversation to negotiate specific changes.